Adult Ballerina Project

When did you start doing ballet as an adult? 

June 25, 2012, at the age of 38 (I’m a data geek, and can tell you I’ve taken 174 classes, taken 2 workshops, and I’m rehearsing for my 2nd performance!)

Did you ever take lessons as a kid? 

I tried a few times, but was too fat/too dweeby/too uncoordinated (I ended up in theater:)). It was something I always wanted to do, though. Dancers have a grace about them that I always envied.

Why did you decide to take ballet as an adult? 

I’m a cyclist, and was looking for a way to cross train. The natural thought was swimming, but I was having shoulder issues. I was amazed to find that adults COULD even take ballet. So, I did a weeks worth of research, put on like 10 suffocating layers of lycra and nylon, and went to my first class. I was SO terrified my hand was shaking on the barre!

Where do you take classes? 

Walnut Creek, and Berkeley CA. I’m lucky enough to have some amazing studios nearby, so I’m always looking for interesting events and classes (Alonzo King LINES “All You Can Dance” workshop is crazy fun!)

What is your favorite part about ballet?

I love turning crazy athleticism into grace. The allure of ballet is that people don’t know how HARD it cam be, physically. As an athlete, I’m attracted to that. I love looking the mirror and every once in a while, seeing myself as a dancer (My seven year old self starts cheering!) When I started, I tried really hard to be gentle and serene, they way I believed dancers were supposed to be. Then I had this great teacher who told me “That’s not who you are. Dance like you’re attacking it. Be fiery, be fierce.” I took that to heart.

What is your least favorite part?

Choreography. Having never done it, my brain is still learning HOW to learn to dance. Even the simplest of combinations can completely freak me out. Once I panic, it’s over.

Who/What is your ballet inspiration?

I think if anything, my inspiration is me. For all the times I believed it was something I couldn’t do, like a gift meant for someone else. I DO have this dubstep video of Polina Semionova, that’s wild. You can see her power. There’s nothing delicate about it, and it reminds me of what I want people to see when I dance.

What motivates you to keep dancing?

I don’t do anything without getting a little obsessed (I think you have to. You have to have it in your heart) and as long as I’m improving, I’ll keep going. I was once told that progress was sometimes measured incrementally.It’s happening whether you’re aware or not. I also made pointe this year, so that’s a whole new avenue to explore. I’d love to be able to do centerwork en pointe someday. Someday!

Do you take any other dance classes?

Nope. Everything else moves too fast, and my aging brain can’t keep up. Unless like boogieing around the house counts!

What are your hobbies outside of ballet?

I ride bikes. Not as much as I used to (ballet kind of took over), but I love a great 65 mile ride. I ride with this great group of women, and we’re all so supportive of one another. And there’s frequently wine at the end so….
I’m also something of a gym rat, and love to strength train. I’m vegan, and I love to cook almost as much as I love to eat. It’s a lot going on, but Sundays I take completely off. I meal prep, then watch various sporting events with my husband.

What advice would you like to give to those who want to start ballet or have just started?

Just keep going. Even when you cry. Even if you’re always the worst student. Keep going. It gets better. If you have found any joy, then keep going. I think as adult dancers, knowing that we’ll never make NYCB is pretty liberating. You’ll be judged more on your effort, your heart, what you put in to it that what it looks like in the end.

I was really given a gift to have met my first ballet teacher. Anyone else might have scared me off, but she was so kind and patient. I still go and see her.
In the beginning, I think that’s really important. You’re handing over your body, your mind and to be frank, your self esteem to this person. Find someone you trust with those things. Even the tiniest movements can be the most difficult, so use your mental energy to improve, not to criticize yourself.

Anything else you’d like to add?

Haha. Haven’t I said enough? I could go on for days…I’m still struggling. My weight is a concern, especially now that I’m on pointe. My first performance I was horrified and cried for DAYS after seeing myself on tape. I’ve recovered, and I’m performing again this year.